Okay so heres the deal.... This post is simply me ranting about anythign and everything that comes to mind and im sorry if you dont like what i have to say or if something is about you I apologize but if you don't like what i have to say than dont read my blog!!
hmmm what to start with? I suppose ill start with my pain.
Okay so for like the past two/three weeks my back has been killing me, my right knee and hip have been in seering pain for the past month or more and the two different anti-inflammatories that my doctor put me on arent helping one bit. Also Im suppose to start PT for my knee and hip soon but as far as I know they havent called my mom to set up an appointment. And yes my mom does still make all my appointments and that for me, I'm only 17 which in SC is considered being an adult but i dont necesarily have time to do all of that stuff right now and also concerning doctors i cant really be the primary contact until im 18 (which is in October ^_^). Anyways that hasnt happened yet, my back has been tingling and popping and everything else that hurts and no matter how much my chiropractor, massage therapist or even my fiance tries to massage it out or loosen it up or anything like that im still in alot of pain that just wont seem to go away. I sometimes hate the fact that im 17, because to people over 25 im still a kid and i dont know what pain is and im just growing and blah blah blah and yeah know what? SCREW YOU!! JUST BECAUSE IM YOUNGER DOES NOT MEAN I DONT KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!!!!! It has been proven by many doctors that any pain or illness that i endure is made worse by my depression and anxiety, not to mention the fact that i have been physically harassed and hazed in my past and the injuries i sustained from those events cause me daily pain that hurts to the point of tears. I can barely lay down in bed without being in pain.
-insert scream here- uuuuggggghhhh being able to rant is making me hyper but i feel sooooo much better already and im not even part of the way done yet.
Next subject.... people
Concerning Exes... Im going to do my best to keep this one short because i know Parker doesnt like when i talk about my exes, but i have have HAVE to get this stuff out otherwise im not going to feel better, so no promises on the length. Okay so I think i'll talk about the worst of my exes first.
Chris....I cant really say what I or my mom, or a few other people that are dearly close to me call him but its something along the lines of A-hole.... thats probably the nicest. To keep a VERY long story short-ish, We met online and talked for about 4 months before we met in person and then when we did, we hit it off instantly, oh...before i say more i need to say this. He was a freshman in college and i was a freshman in high school... maybe that was an indicator about how that relationship wouldve gone that i didnt even notice.. anyways there was 2 years, 6 months and 2 years of an age difference between us but we didnt let that phase us, we bonded right away and everything was great... so i thought. It turns out when I though things were going great, he was going behind my back and cheating on me.... this went on for at least two months... that I know of... after i found out i broke it off and i became severely depressed and almost suicidal. i wouldnt eat, i could barely sleep, basically, i was bella in new moon when edward left her.. However he crawled back and apologized too many times to count and like an idiot i gave him another chance, and I got burned yet again. After leaving out ALOT of details, this story doesnt seem to dramatic or devistating but to me it is, and it is a big factor as to why i am who i am.
In all honesty i think that was my worst break up... granted i have had other boyfriends and out of the other 5, only two of them ended on bad terms... Darren, went insane and gained like 9238572830597092384 pounds and became a walking zit. The other ex of mine, Kurt, is that one ex that will not leave me alone!!!!! I have tried close to everything but calling the cops on him to get him to leave me alone, even if people say that they are dating me and tell him to leave me alone, yes, he will back off for like a month but then he will call me or text me again like nothing was wrong and its like dude, leave me the eff alone!!
Mlehhh okay sooo i have one more thing to rant about and then i shall be done with this rant installment.. Okay so Prom is suppose to be a time in a teenagers life where you spend all day getting ready, taking pictures, going out to dinner, and then dancing the night away having all kinds of fun right? Well my junior prom was anything but that.... Parker and I took a good portion of the day to go get lunch and then we went to my friend Brenda's house so her sister could do my hair for prom, after that we went home, got dressed, took pictures with the parents and then went to prom... Once arriving at prom we had some decent fun and ate some finger food, drank some lemonade and punch (which i later found out was spiked with ecstasy) and danced the best we knew how. Unfortunealty the DJ only played techno music the enitre time so there was no chance to slow dance at all.. and okay so i was sitting on the edge of parker's knees and he kissed me on the heek... like a peck! and this gu Mr Rawlings comes over and starts screaming at us and was like you do that outside and get in our own chair and blah blah blah, he was the only adminitrator that had an issue with it.. nd to make it worse he didnt say anything about the fact that there was a guy with his hand up a girls dress for most of the night. nice to be dicriminated against...
okay im done ranting for today :) love you all!!
Hope you feel better Boo!
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